Making
Friends
One of the most rewarding aspects of being a
human being is the depth and richness of the friendships we build throughout
our lives. Our friendships strengthen and sustain us through the years.
Our friendships teach us to be better human beings than we might otherwise
have learned to be. Our friendships remind us to be caring and
compassionate about someone's struggles other than our own.
How do such friendships happen? The answer is,
by mutual consent. We cannot force or impose our desire for
friendship upon others; they must accept us and want our friendship
for themselves.
Friendship is not an accident, although we can
sometimes meet a person merely by chance who then becomes a good friend.
There are active steps we can take to build rewarding friendships in our
lives.
1. Demonstrate your willingness to be a friend
first. Grammee always said, "If you want to have a friend, you must
be a friend." This is important to remember. If you are wishing
you had a good friend, or wondering why you don't have more friends, maybe the
place to start is by examining how you go about making friends in the first
place. If you sit back with your arms folded waiting for the other person to
make the first move, and they are doing the same, how will you ever get to
know one another? This week, take it upon yourself to be the first to speak
when you meet someone new. Introduce yourself, and take it from there.
2. Be present for the friends you
already have. We must actively participate in the lives of those we hold
dear. When your friends talk to you, are you actually listening? Are you
truly present in the conversation? Or are you merely waiting for an opening
to talk about yourself? If you want others to care about you and be
interested in what you have to say, you must first demonstrate your caring and
concern for them by actively listening.
3. Make time for your friends. People
often equate the level of your interest in their lives by the amount of time
they get to spend in your presence. While proximity is not the only indicator
of a person's priority in our lives, it is an important one. If a person does
not hear from you or see you for long periods of time, it is unreasonable of
you to expect them to drop everything and desire your company when you finally
do get around to them.
Try these three principles of friendship
for a while, and see if they help you build better friendships as you move
forward. Please check out our articles titled
The 3 Minute Conversation Guideline and
How to Mingle for more great tips on how to make friends.
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