There is no single answer to this question however you can make a good start and find your own answers with this exercise:

• Find a quiet time and a quiet place.  Sit down with a pencil and piece of paper and list the ten most important characteristics and/or qualities that you want in your ideal mate.  See article Identifying What You are Looking For.  Rating Internet Dating Sites

• Now describe what they are like: their personality, their appearance, what they do, what they like and don't like, and so on.

• Put the list away for a while.  Come back to the list and imagine what it would be like living with this person for 20+ years.  Ask yourself questions such as the following:
  

  • Will their good looks fade?  The better question is "when" not "if."

  • Would that personality trait you liked such as a strong, dominant  become overbearing?

  • How long would it be before that "free spirit" you enjoy now appear to be irresponsible?

  • What will you do when you change and grow?  What will happen to the relationship?

  • Are your principles and values being satisfied with this person in the long term?

  • Why would my relationship with someone like this last for a lifetime?
    

• Now rewrite your list of characteristics and create a new description.

• Visualize this person and look for them in each new person that you meet.   You will now have a better idea of where to look.  Do, however, keep an open mind.  Even the most perfectly visualized ideals are sometimes satisfied by good people in disguise.

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