A Truth About Divorce

 

I remember being a young woman, about 22 and was home from college one evening and spending some time talking with my family and some friends. The subject we were discussing was what one thing affected your life the most. 

As everyone went around the room, they were all naming beautiful, fun, sweet memories that had from growing up. However, when it came to be my turn, I pondered whether I should tell the truth or give a fluff answer, to not ruin the moment. I decided to be honest and I said "divorce". Everyone in the room stopped and looked at me, like I had just killed a puppy. I had just thought by telling the truth, it may open a "real" conversation with my family. It sure enough did. It became a wonderful experience for everyone and they too, all had other things that had truly affected their lives. 

My parents did not handle their divorce well and us kids became pawns in the middle. I had said at that moment, I would never get divorced. Well, here I am in 2009 and divorced. However, my divorce, although very painful for myself and my children, was done in a much more dignified manner. My ex and I never discussed adult problems in front of our kids. We never gave them our problems to shoulder as their own. If there is any advice I could give to parents who have decided to divorce, it would be, please allow your children to be children. Allow them to love both parents. 

Just because you decide to not be husband and wife, you will forever be their parents. Don't make your kids feel they are in the middle. Remember they came from the other parent too. There are redeeming qualities in everyone. Try and find the, Love your children more than you hate your spouse. You don't want a child to be sitting there one day, saying the one thing that affected their life the MOST, was Divorce. 

This article won fifth place in the 2009 Positive Way Relationship and Self Development Contest. Written by Tracy S.