Suicide is Relative |
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The loneliness and emptiness that one must feel to go forward with suicide is something we really cannot comprehend unless we are living the life of those that do. We have no real clue of what is going on in their minds or how they justify to themselves that this is their only way out and that this is their only option. We continue to ask ourselves “Was there something I could have done or said that would have changed this situation? Are there magic words or actions that can keep a loved one from committing suicide?” I personally have lost two siblings to suicide. The first loss was my dear brother Jim who took his own life February 20, 1996. He was 45 years of age. Jim had experienced bouts of depression on and off during his short lifetime. Jim loved animals, especially horses and his rescued dogs. He was also a football official and enjoyed officiating high school and middle school games. He was a juvenile arbitrator for Aiken County and worked with troubled youth in this capacity. Jim also enjoyed weight lifting and volunteered for the disabled children's Olympic sports activities, like bowling, etc. He is missed so much and our family was changed forever after this devastating loss by way of suicide. We as a family have never gotten over this loss. It continues to bring us great sadness because we saw hope for Jim when he could not see it for himself. If only he could have hung on longer to get through the darkness and see the light and the hope that was still ahead for him while on this earth. Then this past September 3, 2009 I lost another sibling to suicide. This was my dear sweet sister Betsy. She was 55 years of age. Betsy had tried to take her life many times over the years. She always pulled through and we continued to have hope that she would get better and not try to end her life again. Time and time again she tried. She did many, many shock treatments over the years and she seemed determined to clear her mind of suicidal thoughts and to move forward. She was married with two grown children, and two grandchildren. In our eyes she had so much to live for and yet the depression took over. She was diagnosed with bipolar depression and her life was full of the highs of mania and then the crash to deep depression. There was always the crash after many months of the mania high. Betsy enjoyed shopping, driving, taking long baths, helping the homeless, gambling, and most of all spending time with her grandchildren. Betsy also enjoyed clothing and fashion. She loved dogs. She did volunteer work with the elderly and enjoyed talking and getting to know everyone she met. Betsy was a people person who never met a stranger. She loved her children and grandchildren so much and we all hoped that would get her through her darkest days. This loss continues to devastate our family and we again are asking “WHY?” “What could we have done or said to prevent this from happening? Were there some magic words or actions that could have prevented this?” I was not able to attend my sister’s funeral in person so I wrote the following "Betsy’s Friends" that was read to all that attended. I want to share it with the readers of this article so you can have a peek into her life and personality. She is missed so very much. Hotline: If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for help and direction 1-800-273-8255
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In loving memory of my siblings I am donating any funds that are created by way of this website through donations, Google ads, and/or book or CD sales commissions into helping those we define as "Betsy's Friends". |