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The Smell of Yellow
“Come on, Mom! No shoes allowed! Just bare feet!” she shouts.
“I am coming,” I say as I slip off my sandals.
My five-year-old daughter, Isabella Clemmie, sees differently than most. Her skin, nose, eyes, ears, and tongue have all been introduced to rainbows, rainstorms, tickle spots, and tears. Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it), she has been shown the world by a mom who is going blind. Each year Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) steals a glimpse of what I see.
Regardless, I am a mother who is determined to help my daughter fully experience life so she can appreciate the complexities of the simplest things, the power of respect for nature and others, and the sacredness of a well-kept heart, soul, and mind.
“You start!” she exclaims.
“Let’s see.” I pick a daisy from a small cluster of heat-beaten flowers. “This will do perfectly.”
Isabella jumps up and down in anticipation, covering her eyes tightly. “Smell, touch, taste…which will it be?” she asks.
“Smell,” I say as I lead her near to me. She sits directly across from me, our naked toes touch as we sit criss-cross applesauce. Holding the flower to her nose I ask, “What color do your smell?”
A smile bursts upon her face. “I smell the color yellow! It is a daisy. I know it is!” Uncovering her eyes she takes the wilted flower and places it behind her ear.
“My turn!” she exclaims. We play this game over and over until our feet become chilly with the changing of guards from the sun to the moon.
Due to RP, my surroundings become colorless at dusk. Indeed, RP determines how I see the world; yet, RP does not, nor will not, ever determine how I perceive the world. Life’s ripples run deep, and oftentimes what we see is not the true treasure found at the bottom of the sea or within the depths of a person’s being.
“One more, Mom, please…,” she pleads knowing she will have to help me inside if it gets any darker. I hear her giggle. “Hold out your hands. Put them out flat like I’m giving you a gift,” she says. She forms a circle with her fingers and presses this shape lightly into my hands. I guess several times as to what it could be…“a rock, a coin, a medal?”
“I give up! What is it?” I ask impatiently.
“The sun. I measured with my hands before it went away. I thought you would want it to help you see in case you get stuck outside someday and I am not here to help you.”
I take her fingers and press them against my chest. “There, now the light you gave me will always be with me.”
I realize with each experience I teach her she in-turn teaches me. I do not fear blindness so long as I can smell the color yellow, taste the sweetness of the night wind, and feel the sun’s light deep within. After all, there are worse types of blindness than losing your sight. Life is not for the fearful…life is for the determined.
Keep sharing your light, dear daughter.
This article won fourth place in the 2009 Positive Way Relationship and Self Development Contest. Written by Tiffany C.
Positive Life Choices
For all the challenges each of us faces along our paths of life we have the opportunity to find the good and see the positive things around us. We hope that you are able to see your gifts even when the light is dim. The Positive Way
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