What if I'm Not
interested in a Dating Relationship?
Most people find it very
difficult to be direct and let another person know that they are not
interested in having a dating relationship. They have a hard time
saying what they mean and meaning what they say.
Believe it or not you are much
better off being direct and choosing not to lead someone on. Don't
tell someone to call you when you know you are not interested id dating him
or her. Don't tell someone you will call them when you know you are
not really interested in seeing them again. Just tell them you are not
interested and then move on. The direct approach is the best approach.
You do more damage to
someone's self-esteem by leading them on when you know it will go nowhere.
No one likes rejection however in the long run most people would appreciate
the direct approach instead of giving them false hope. This false hope
leads to rejection and that does the most damage.
If you are with someone that
you know you are not interested in dating but they ask you out anyway here
are some things you can say or do to let the person know that you are not
interested in anything more than just being friends.
1. If you are out on a first
date and you are sure you don't want a second date with this person then
when asked you could say any of the following only if the statements are
true and sincere:
a. "I enjoyed our time
together but feel obligated to let you know I am only interested in
friendship and nothing more."
b. "I have made a commitment
to myself that I will not lead anyone on if I don't feel a true dating
connection. You are a very nice person and I know there is someone
special out there for you. What ways are you using to network for
c. "It is really important for
me to feel an instant connection with someone before I will consider a
second date. I don't want to waste your time but wish you all the
d. "You are a nice person.
I am looking for a more serious connection and I don't feel we are meant for
one another. I do have some friends that I think you would really
connect with. Would you mind if I did some networking for you?"
2. If you haven't gone
out on a date yet and someone asks you out and you know you are not
interested in dating them then you could say or doe the following only if it
is true and sincere:
a. "I am flattered that
you thought well enough of me to ask me out. I am not interested in a
dating relationship but I wish you all the best."
b. "I am only interested
in being friends and doing thins with a group of friends. But thanks
c. "No thank you."
d. "No thank you but I
would be interested in having you as a friend. Would you be interested
in joining some of my friends for coffee sometime?"
Be a person of integrity.
Be sincere and honest and don't mislead people. Don't feel you owe
someone an explanation or an excuse. Just say "No thank you."
Check out our articles on
How to identify your ideal
mate and How to find your