What if I'm Not interested in a Dating Relationship?
Most people find it very difficult to be direct and let another person know that they are not interested in having a dating relationship. They have a hard time saying what they mean and meaning what they say.
Believe it or not you are much better off being direct and choosing not to lead someone on. Don't tell someone to call you when you know you are not interested id dating him or her. Don't tell someone you will call them when you know you are not really interested in seeing them again. Just tell them you are not interested and then move on. The direct approach is the best approach.
You do more damage to someone's self-esteem by leading them on when you know it will go nowhere. No one likes rejection however in the long run most people would appreciate the direct approach instead of giving them false hope. This false hope leads to rejection and that does the most damage.
If you are with someone that you know you are not interested in dating but they ask you out anyway here are some things you can say or do to let the person know that you are not interested in anything more than just being friends.
1. If you are out on a first date and you are sure you don't want a second date with this person then when asked you could say any of the following only if the statements are true and sincere:
a. "I enjoyed our time together but feel obligated to let you know I am only interested in friendship and nothing more."
b. "I have made a commitment to myself that I will not lead anyone on if I don't feel a true dating connection. You are a very nice person and I know there is someone special out there for you. What ways are you using to network for relationships?"
c. "It is really important for me to feel an instant connection with someone before I will consider a second date. I don't want to waste your time but wish you all the best."
d. "You are a nice person. I am looking for a more serious connection and I don't feel we are meant for one another. I do have some friends that I think you would really connect with. Would you mind if I did some networking for you?"
2. If you haven't gone out on a date yet and someone asks you out and you know you are not interested in dating them then you could say or doe the following only if it is true and sincere:
a. "I am flattered that you thought well enough of me to ask me out. I am not interested in a dating relationship but I wish you all the best."
b. "I am only interested in being friends and doing thins with a group of friends. But thanks for asking."
c. "No thank you."
d. "No thank you but I would be interested in having you as a friend. Would you be interested in joining some of my friends for coffee sometime?"
Be a person of integrity. Be sincere and honest and don't mislead people. Don't feel you owe someone an explanation or an excuse. Just say "No thank you."
Check out our articles on How to identify your ideal mate and How to find your ideal mate.