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My Fiancé is pregnant and won't talk to me
Dear Positive Way, My fiancé
is pregnant. The problem is that my fiancé wont talk to me about our
problem. She wont talk to me about anything. I don't really know what the
problem is. She tells me that I need to not act like a kid. But I don't see
how I act like a kid. She talks to her ex-boyfriends that I am driving her
insane. She wont tell me how I am driving her insane though. I want to know
how to fix the problem so I don't lose her or the baby. I Love Her with all
my heart. Please help me. Signed, badtothebone86, age 19
Dear Badtothebone86: You and
your fiancé are in a difficult situation that is causing a lot of stress and
reevaluation. Your fiancé is telling you that you act like a kid and are
smothering her and that she needs some space. Here are a couple of
suggestions for you to consider:
1. Women tend to fall in love
through their ears. Since she won't talk to you directly for now I
would suggest you write her a letter explaining how much you love her and
that you will support her and the baby. Becoming a Father can make you
grow up really fast and she needs to know that you will act more adult at
this very serious turning point in your relationship.
2. Pregnancy causes the
hormones in a woman to go off balance and therefore that can translate in to
mood swings and irritation with others. I am sure your fiancee is
feeling a lot of pressure about becoming pregnant and having to deal with
your lives changing dramatically. That is a very scary thing for all
involved. She needs understanding and appreciation at this time and
not pressure of any kind. Give her some space. You can let her
know through a note or letter how much you care and that you will be there
for her when she is ready to talk.
3.Please read our article
Express and Own your Feelings and also the
Five Myths of Love and How to
Love Your Mate. I feel you will find some helpful information in
those articles that will allow you to approach her in a more gentle and
reassuring way and that will open up the communication.
The important thing is to be patient
and have more understanding for her and the position she is in. Having
a child is a life changing event and pregnancy is a very emotional as well
as physical change for the woman. Give her some space and then be
there for her when she is ready to talk.
Becoming a parent will be the most
important job you will have in your lifetime. Take it very seriously
and read as much information as you can on the subject of parenting and
relationships in general. Our site has hundreds of pages that can help
educate and enlighten you on this journey. You can start with the
articles I mentioned above and then click on
this link for more
information.
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Please understand
you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of
personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute
for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.
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