Men, Housework and Better Sex Lives

Men who do more housework and child care have better sex lives and happier marriages than others according to noted marital researcher Dr. John Gottman.

Psychologists Claire Rabin and Pepper Schwartz have found when wives and husbands make what they both feel is a successful effort to divide chores fairly, both spouses benefit. Inequities in housework and childcare have profound consequences for the marital satisfaction of women, which in turn affects the quality of the marriage for the man as well.

Women feel more respected and loved by their husbands when they share in the housecleaning and child rearing. Many men are blind to the connection between how little housecleaning he does and how she feels about him. If a woman feels like a servant in the relationship that will affect the more intimate and fragile parts of the relationship. Being the sole person in a marriage to clean the toilet and scrub the floors is definitely not an aphrodisiac! When the woman feels more respected in the relationship, she in turn gives more to her mate and the relationship prospers. The result is a more successful, happier marriage.

One study showed that men who claim to support feminist ideas only do an average of four minutes more housework each day than traditional men with openly "macho" belief systems. The message you send your wife when you do so little around the house is a lack of respect for her.

Doing more housework may also be good for a man's health. This is a direct correlation between how much housework a man does and the likelihood that he'll be physically more healthy four years later! Perhaps resolving this major marital issue means there is less conflict at home, so the man experiences less stress over the years.

Men it is time to ask your wives if there is a problem in your role as a helper and mate. If there is ask her what you can do to make it more of a partnership and then do it. You will "light both fires" and rekindle the romance and love in your relationship. Enjoy!

Recommended reading "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail" by John Gottman

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