I feel lonely and depressed after
divorceDear Positive Way,
I divorced my wife few months back and i feel hurt because she cheated
on me.
I was married to her only for few days.
I'm feel very hurt and cry as to why she cheated me soo much.
I ask god why he did this to me.
I feel i did not deserve this kind of cheating from my wife.
she betrayed my trust
I'm very depressed , recalling the chain of events that happened leading
to divorce.
I feel worth less and feel that all my luck is gone down and i can never
be happy
I'm not able to forget her either
pls pls pls help me in getting out depression and recalling her all the
time and asking a question to myself as to why this happened in my life
and did I deserve this? in my life
I feel lonely and don't feel like doing anything because i feel
everything goes wrong in life
I am a professionally qualified person. signed, male2791, age 34
Dear male2791, I understand
your hurt and disappointment over this matter. Anytime someone betrays
us in such an intimate way it is very hard on the
self-esteem and very hard
emotionally. Here are some things I would like for you to consider:
1. The cheating defines your wife not
you. It displays her morals, principles and values not yours. People
that have higher values do not abuse their relationships in this way.
2. God did not do this to you. Your wife
did this and she is responsible for her choices in life. There is a
karmic debt to be paid and she will be receiving consequences down the
road. God is not responsible. We all have free will and make choices
that sometimes don't get us where we want to go in life.
3. Thank God that you learned this early
on in your marriage and that you didn't put many years into this
relationship just to learn that you married a person with lower values
and principles. There is much life ahead for you and the right partner
will be there when you are ready to move on.
4. What you think and speak you will
create. You must change your words and your thinking in order to create
a better life. Please read our article on
What you think and get
the book I recommend in it if at all possible. You can change your
life for the better by changing your thoughts and your words - that is a
promise.
5. It is understandable that you feel
lonely and not able to forget her. That is normal. Feel those feelings
for a short period of time during the day and allow yourself to feel
those feelings. Set aside time like 15 to 20 minutes to feel your
sadness and then distract yourself with other things and if necessary
you can set aside time each day to feel and work through your feelings
but don't allow them to go on longer that a few minutes at a time.
Please read our article on
Loneliness and
Forgiveness .
6. If you still find yourself struggling
after reading all of the material I have suggested then please seek out
a professional counselor that can help you work through all of this.
You could get a referral from your local minister or doctor.
Once you have worked through some of your
feelings please read our article on
Rebuilding after Divorce. We recommend a great book that will give
you some solid information and suggestions that will allow for you to
move forward in a positive way. Things like this don't happen because
you deserve this - they happen because you cannot control how another
people acts or thinks about such things. We are only in control of how
we think and how we act. You are a better person than your wife chose
to be. Hold your head high and go forward and don't let her actions
define who you are - they can only define her.
We wish you well.
