Dear Positive Way Money Experts, My question is- how do I stop spending money?  In the last year I've moved home to pay off debt, yet I've picked up over 6000 dollars in credit card debt since returning to my parents house.  I'm not happy and I haven't even been able to make a single student loan payment.  It seems like the more I try- the worse my debt gets.

Please help.

Thank you,
happyplease 

P.S. I've never had this much credit card debt before- my college student loans only totaled 3000, in all 5 years of school combined.

Dear happyplease,

I’m sorry to hear that you are unhappy and are finding yourself in financial difficulty.  The good news is that you are acknowledging the situation and taking action.  This definitely means that there is hope.  Here are some things for you to consider.

Money may not be the root of your problems – your unhappiness.  Unhappiness may, however, be the root of your money problems.  Twelve years of grade school through high school and five years of college at age 25 do not guarantee, despite what many people think, a clear understanding of a person’s place in life.

1. The first step in a process of fixing your problems could be to take inventory.  Here’s how to take a personal inventory: 

• Set aside an hour for yourself when you will not be interrupted. 

• Turn off your phone. 

• Tell your friends and parents you are busy and not to be disturbed.

• Take a notepad and pen or pencil to that quiet place.

• Relax and clear your mind of worries and other thoughts.

• Now write this at the top of the page “I am grateful for _____.

• Spend no less than ten minutes and write a list of at least 30 things for which you are grateful.  Do not judge or evaluate the list in any way no matter how silly or important an item might be.  Do not quit until you have 30 or more items and at least ten minutes have passed.

• Now read through the list and mark the top 5 to 10 items that are most important or significant to you.

2. The second step:

• Write this at the top of a new page “In what ways might I create a better life for myself?”

• Spend no less than fifteen minutes and write a list of at least 30 answers to this question.  Do not judge the list in any way no matter how silly or important an item might be.  Do not quit until you have 30 or more items and at least fifteen minutes have passed.

• Now read through the list and mark the top 5 to 10 ideas that seem reasonable or interesting to you.

3. The third step:

• Pick one of the top ideas and write a brief action plan for it.  The plan will include the objective, a set of steps to take, something that you can and will do within the next 24 hours and guideposts or indicators that you are making progress.  The objective should be clear, measurable and within your control.  (example: I will create a list of all my minimum expenses within two days.  I will start tonight by gathering my bills and loan documents.  In two days I will have an itemized list of all my obligations.)

• Take action on the first item.

• Take action on the next items and continue the process.

4. The fourth step:  Complete the seven-step “Cutting Debt Action Plan”
    

5. The fifth step:  Complete the “Seven Steps to Financial Freedom” 
    

6. Every time you feel stressed and start spending to try to feel better about yourself pull out your personal inventory and re-read it.  Then redirect your energy in a positive way toward taking action to building your better life.  When necessary, tap into the discipline and work ethic that got you through college – put those talents to work and say “no” to spending and “yes” to zero debt.
    

7. Look for a job that gives you satisfaction and find at least one opportunity to volunteer in some way that uses your education and talents.  Every community has needs that you can help satisfy.  Talk to your pastor, priest, family, friends and local non-profit organizations for ideas.
    

8. As you find fulfillment outside of spending, put the money toward paying your debt down to zero.  Change your mind to change your life.
    

9. Celebrate (Inexpensively, of course; not a trip to Bermuda).

We wish you success.

The Positive Way

Please remember that you are in control of your life.  None of this information should ever be considered a substitute for medical, financial or legal advice.