Collection Obsession

Dear Positive Way Money Experts, I have been a collector of Beatles memorabilia for 42 years. My collection is probably worth at least $100.000.00. However, for the last six years I have been unable to work. This means that I can't continue adding to my collection, which makes me feel deprived and useless. I am trying to get a job but it is tough going. I want to get over my Beatles addiction so we will have money for ourselves and be able to pay off our mortgage. How can I resist the constant barrage of Beatles CD's, DVD's ad infinatum that seem to be everywhere? I'm afraid that this issue is a potential marriage breaker. I'm feeling desperate. Thank you for your time and consideration!  Signed, JohnnyPaul, a woman age 56 who can't make ends meet.

Dear JohnnyPaul,  Your specific question is “How can I resist the constant barrage of Beatles CD's, DVD's ad infinatum that seem to be everywhere?”  I’m going to answer this in two parts and then discuss some of the implications.  The first part is for you to do some pre-work answering the following questions before you read the second part.

Part I

Please get a blank piece of paper or two (lined or unlined is up to you) and a pen or a pencil (whichever you prefer writing with).  Now set aside 20 to 30 minutes that you can spend in a quite place without interruption to answer the following questions.

1.      My Beatles collecting gives me_________.  Write down at least 10 good things that you get from your collecting.

2.      I started and continue to collect because_____________.  Write down at least 5 reasons why you collect.

3.      If I don’t change my collecting behavior _____________ will happen.  Write down at least 10 negative things that could happen if you don’t change.

4.      Review the lists and mark the three best things that come from collecting and the three worst things that might happen.  Now compare them and write a statement starting “I would like to change my behavior because_________.  I am willing to do this because ______________.”  Fill in the blanks with the positive and negative things that are most important to you. 

Now proceed to part II

Part II

In the first part of this answer you were asked to consider the good and bad aspects of your collecting and write a statement that reflects why you should change.  You recognize that obsessing about the past keeps you from being present today.  This has detrimental effects on all aspects of your life.  But you can change that.  Please consider the following.

1.      Your statement for change should be your motivation to move ahead to change your life and bring your obsessive Beatles collecting under control.

2.      Strategies for stopping the collection include the following:

a.      Remove temptation:  Stop reading all magazines and sales literature that sell the product.  Cancel your magazines and ask the sales companies to put you on their do-not-mail and do-not-call lists.  Ask your husband to review the mail and trash the material that continues to come or do it yourself without ever opening the envelope.  Cancel any email lists and remove any related sites from your favorite’s lists and do not visit them.  Do not watch the sales shows on TV.

b.      Remove the reminders:  Take down your posters and remove the dolls, toys and other items on display at a time (remove enough each day so that you will finish in 30 days) until there are none left in view.

c.      Make it difficult to buy:  You say you don’t have much money for collecting so remove any further funds by closing accounts, cutting up credit cards and giving the checkbook to your husband.

3.      Find a replacement activity.  Focus on your family.  Work harder to find a job.  Take a job that you would normally not consider for a career but get out of the house and start earning your own income.  You will feel better, more fulfilled and like you are contributing to solving your money problems.

4.      Until you find a job do volunteer work to contribute to society.

5.      Ask for help.  Ask your husband and family to help you focus on other things and clear out the past.

6.      Make a job out of selling the collection.  This can be the ultimate in moving your life out of the Beatle’s era into today.  You will have to be strong to do this.  Otherwise your exposure to the world of sales might lead you the temptation to buy.  But, you could really do well on eBay or through other venues if you have acquired well and sell well.

You are to be congratulated for seeking to change what you don’t like.  We wish you the best and remind you that you have free will and are in control of your destiny.  If these strategies don’t work, consider seeking the counsel of a professional therapist who specializes in compulsion.  Good luck.