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The
Risk of Divorce Quiz
evaluates marriages based on 13 divorce risk factors that have been found to
be significant in predicting if a marriage might be more likely to divorce
than the average.
The
higher the number of risk factors present in a relationship the more likely
the marriage is to be at risk of divorce. This does not necessarily mean
that divorce is inevitable but, rather, means that the husband and wife may
have to be more diligent in their efforts to solve problems and keep the
marriage together. A couple contemplating marriage would be very wise to
determine how they will overcome the risk factors before entering into
marriage. Good communication and problem solving skills help in all
relationships.
Marriage requires more than love
Marriage
is complex. Marital satisfaction and marital longevity are determined by
the complex interactions of two different individuals within a relationship
that is set in a challenging world. We come into marriages with our own
filters, backgrounds, baggage and ways of seeing life. These are sometimes
incompatible with what our partner brings and sometimes get in the way of
creating a sustainable relationship that gives each individual what they
need to be fulfilled and happy. The challenge is to build each other up
while having a self-fulfilling life as well. As Antoine de Saint Exupery
said, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together
in the same direction.”
Marital
success is built on a foundation of many factors including compatibility,
shared principles and values, good communication skills, good problem
solving skills, a commitment to working through problems, honesty, respect,
understanding, kindness and love.
Risk factors for divorce
The
Risk of Divorce Quiz
may be used like a checklist to see which factors a relationship might have
and to allow the parties to do something to reduce those risks. Take the
quiz to see which factors you might have and what they are based on. Here
is a list of the 13 behavioral and historical factors examined in this quiz:
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Age difference between
husband and wife
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Age at marriage
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Parent’s history of
divorce
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Premarital cohabitation
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Smoking
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Drinking
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History of previous
divorce
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Children
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Desire to have (more)
children
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Religious beliefs
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Financial status
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Satisfaction with life
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Satisfaction with
marriage partner
Beating the odds of divorce
Choose
your marriage partner carefully. Opposites may attract but these risk
factors and others demonstrate that differences can increase the risk of
divorce. Make sure you share key morals, values and principles. When in
doubt slow down – do not rush into marriage. The original purpose of the
one-year engagement was to give the pair a chance to get to know each other
better, to change their minds if necessary and not just to make the
arrangements for a ceremony.
Educate
yourself and your marriage partner with the skills that are required to act
in a loving and supportive way in a relationship. Good relationships do not
happen by accident and even those that start with a “happy accident” are
only successful in the long term with dedication and a joint commitment to
success. People change and grow and their relationships must change and
grow with them.
If you
are in a distressed marriage take action. It probably took time to get to
this situation so it may take time to work out of it. Educate yourself with
resources such as those on this site, get relationship skills training
(especially
communication skills), and get professional counseling. If you are in
an abusive relationship
get help immediately. Consider divorce as a last resort after you have done
the work to make the relationship better.
What’s love got to do with it?
Love
brings us together. Love creates families and our future. As much as love
is a beginning, it is not the only requirement for sustaining a marriage.
Love, in fact, must be nurtured, maintained and practiced like an art to
keep growing and alive. Love must not be left to itself. Take the
Risk of Divorce Quiz. A good
marriage is far more than compatibility and love.
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