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Depressed over a divorce
Dear Positive Way, My husband decided that we should not stay
together and we are getting divorce, it happen almost a month ago, he
doesn't sleep here, I am depressed now because I wanted to have a family ,
and i love him i always told him that i wasn't happy because he was very
cold , but I was just trying to get a reaction from him so he could get
closer to me, now i feel lost, depressed, i really don't want to do
anything, the only one that keeps me going is our one year old baby, he
rejects me and is very mean to me because he says that i need to let him go,
he hurts me every time we talk, i don't really know that i am going to do
with my life, to be honest i lost interest to live , i don't sleep , i don't
eat, and i cry everyday, i want to know how can i be free again, even
without him, how can i be happy again, please let me know , i don't know who
am i right now, and i don't want to feel like this anymore, i am very sad i
lost him, and he will never come back. signed, 123456, age 21
Dear 123456, All of the feelings you are experiencing are very normal
in this situation. Divorce is hard at any age especially when only one
person wants the divorce. It is like a death in the family and a range
of emotions will show over time - anger, resentment, sadness, and depression
is one of the main ones. Here are some things I would like for you to
consider:
1. You are wise to
reach out for help. You must take care of yourself during this time.
You have a child and you cannot allow yourself to just give up and not take
proper action to get yourself well again. Depression is not something
to take lightly and it can get worse if you don't take action now. The good
news is that there are antidepressants that can help. The first thing
to do is to see your family doctor and ask them for help with your
depression. They usually have samples on hand that you can try until
you find the one that is right for you. If you have to go to a walk in
clinic and ask for help. Once you are on a antidepressant and it
starts working in your system things won't seem so bad. You will see
the light at the end of the tunnel. You will become very aware that
there is life after divorce and it can be a good life.
2. Start reading as many articles as
you can find on our website We have many that will give you insight and new
knowledge that will allow you to move forward and create a better
relationship down the road. The more you learn now the stronger and
wiser you will be for a future relationship. There are always life lessons
to be learned and you have many to learn through your experience.
Don't waste the opportunity to learn and grow from your pain. Start
with the following articles and then read as many as you can.
Rebuilding after Divorce and the
Five Myths and Words do Count
. We have hundreds of articles so please take your time and study the titles
on our home page and choose from there.
Concentrate on building up your self-esteem by
reading and practicing some of the tips offered. Once you build
your self-esteem you will be
stronger and more capable of handling anything that comes your way.
The good news: You can and will feel
better over time. There is life after divorce. And it can be much
better than you have ever experienced before. You will be happy again.
You will find the right relationship that will add to your happiness not
take away. You have your best years ahead of you.
The first step is to get to your Doctor and
get an antidepressant that can help you feel better so you can move forward.
Seek counseling if necessary from a professional. A minister or your
family Doctor can help you find the right one. Also, don't hesitate to
reach out to family and friends and ask them to help you make decisions for
yourself that will help you and your child move forward in a positive way.
It will get better - I know that from my own personal experiences.
Take good care of yourself first and everything will come together from
there.
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Please understand
you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of
personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute
for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.
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