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Listen:
Listen carefully to both parties in the
conflict. Not only hear what they are saying but also interpret it in the
context. There is always more to the story than is first obvious.
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Understand:
Give both parties the gift of understanding. You do not have to agree with
them but it is vital that you let them know that you understand their
issues and feelings. Ask questions and listen until you have
understanding.
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Separate Issues from
Positions: Positions are personal
opinions on issues. Issues are circumstances and conditions about which
there may be disagreement or misunderstanding.
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Establish Respect as a
Foundation: Respect for the
rights of self and others is a basic tenant that cannot be violated. Even
if parties disagree over their positions, disrespect for the rights of
others is unacceptable. If respect is not given, look for infringement on
the basic principles and values of the parties involved. Even people who
do not like each other may work together well if they share respect.
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Agree to Disagree:
Not everyone has to agree on every
issue. Sometimes the best solution is to agree to disagree...with respect.
Attempting to agree with or please everyone can create more problems.
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Tact:
Employ tact in your investigation and solutions. Demonstrate your respect
and sensitivity to all parties involved. Be professional. Yes, you can do
this while being firm and effective.
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Employ Boundaries and
Expectations: Society functions
only through explicit and implicit boundaries, expectations, and rules.
They make it easier for us to be individuals and relate to others. Don't
hesitate to set or clarify boundaries for acceptable behavior and to
expect compliance.
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Coach and Teach:
Provide disputants with skilled conflict
resolution assistance.
