Lately we have heard
from several of our clients that their mate spends too much time at the
computer and not enough time with them. Computers can be escapism from the
relationship or stress of everyday problems and concerns. It is a form of
withdrawal from the relationship if overused.
How can you tell if you are spending too much
time at the computer and not enough time in your relationship? Ask your mate.
They well tell you if they feel left out or lonely because of the time you spend
at the computer. Then listen to your mate if they feel you are spending too much
time away from your relationship. Make some compromises on the time spent. Talk
it out and find out how you both can be satisfied in the relationship and divide
your time accordingly.
For those of you who's mate wont ask if they
are spending too much
time at the computer then gently approach the
subject. Ask for an appointment to discuss relationship time and quality. State
how you feel by using "I" statements and not passing blame. For example you
might say "Honey I am feeling lonely and left out in this relationship." Or "I
miss you being next to me and wish we could spend more time together." The say
"What can we do together to solve this problem? I am willing to do the
following…" Be prepared to suggest ways in which you can spend more time
together and still allow time for the computer work or surfing the web your mate
likes to do.
Communication Magic.
The Amazing Formula For Communicating Straight
From The Heart In Your Relationships. See our
recommended reading List for link
and read articles
Rekindling Romance and How to Love Your Mate.
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