Celebrate
                 by Phoebe Fox                    

Have you ever had one of those days that feels more like a week, when every time you turn around something else goes wrong?  It usually starts when you sleep through the alarm and then jerk awake knowing that the kids are going to be late for school and there's no way you will make it to work on time.  Then, as you back out of the driveway, it starts to rain.  Now you'll have to drive slower and be on the lookout for other drivers who may also be in a hurry to beat the rain and make it to work on time. 

You drive to work in what seems like the longest commute of your life (getting stopped by every red light known to man) only to discover that the parking permit you paid extra for is not a license to park, but merely a license to hunt.  You finally find a place to park your car in a spot guaranteed to make you walk the forced mile march to get to your office,  and when you open the car door you realize you've been dragging the belt of your raincoat down the interstate all the way over here. 

Since you're already going to be late for work, what difference will a little more time make?  You stop at the coffee shop on the corner on your way into the building to get a cup of something hot.  The clerk hands you your go-cup with a lid on it that isn't quite pushed down all the way, but you don't notice because you're in a hurry to pay and be on your way.  So now you're standing on the corner waiting for the light to change at the crosswalk and you decide, "What the heck, I'll have a sip now."  That's when the lid pops off as you tip the cup toward yourself, and now you are wearing your coffee, tea, whatever.  It's still raining, by the way. 

It is days like this that make it absolutely necessary to celebrate the good days every time they come around.  Since the good days go by smoothly, it's easy not to take particular notice of them.  In the same way that the evening news spends more time on the negative stories, it is easier for the haywire days to capture our attention and remain on our radar. 

So fight back.  Don't let these good days slip by.  Do more than give them a passing 'thank you'.  Celebrate those good days; make a point of expressing your joy and gratitude for them in a tangible way. 

It might surprise you, once you start keeping track, just how many more of those good days you have than the "oops" days.  And, who knows?  You just might discover that by celebrating your good days as they happen, you will have fewer of those "oops" days in the future. 

Celebrate the Wonder of You, by Phoebe Fox

When was the last time you celebrated your birthday?  I mean truly celebrated the date of your birth in a way that was meaningful to you?  As adults, it is often easier to celebrate days that are meaningful to our loved ones.  But when it comes to celebrating our special days, we often wait for someone else to plan it. 

If they fail to remember, or give us the time and preparation we devoted to them, it is easy to feel as though our day must not have been all that important to them.  And if the day is not important enough to remember, what does that say about how important we are to them? 

Do you see how easy it is to charge down the wrong road in relationship thinking?  Instead of taking your loved ones to task, start by asking yourself whose primary responsibility it is to celebrate your birthday?  The answer is as easy as it is obvious:  YOURS -- so just turn that finger around. 

Here's something I do to make it a special event when my birthday rolls around.  (It may not be your birthday right now, but yours is bound to come around sometime during this year so keep this in mind for then.) 

I don't just celebrate a birthday day; I celebrate a birthday week.  This does not mean that I literally have a party every day for a week, although that might be one way to do it.  I celebrate by using the seven days leading up to my birthday as a time for reflection. 

I think about where I have been and what I have learned or accomplished in the twelve months since my last birthday.  I think about where I would like to be a year from now, and what I would like to be doing.  I think about the steps I will need to take in order to be there one year from now. 

And then I do something else.  For each day of that week, I try to do one thing I have never done before, but always wanted to.  Or go someplace I have never been, but always told myself I would get around to seeing someday.  It could be anything or anyplace, but I usually keep it simple and close for financial reasons.  Also, it is good discipline to practice enjoying what is often referred to as "no money fun".  That means doing something fun that costs no money (or almost no money) to do. 

Here are some examples of things I've actually done during my birthday week:

One year, I asked my next-door-neighbor's youngest son to teach me how to blow bubbles with bubblegum.  Somehow, I never managed to learn how to do this as a child, and Ted (who was only five or six years old at the time) could blow championship-sized bubbles.  He was a master at it and, when he realized I was serious about learning how to do it, he sat down on my front porch generously spending as much time as it took for me to be able to blow a bubblegum bubble without touching it or spitting the gum completely out onto the sidewalk.  My bubbles were never as huge as the ones Ted could make, but I am proud to say that what I didn't get around to learning during my childhood is not beyond me now that I am a grownup. 

One year, I went to the toy museum.  I like to pick places to go that are practically in my backyard, but may have been skipped because they fall into the category of "I'll go there someday."  The toy museum was a place I had either driven near or passed by completely many times, never having taken the time to actually stop and go in.  So one day during a birthday week, I made a point of going in there and spending a delightful time walking through memories and exhibits and playing with every toy display they made available to the public.  I had a wonderful time being a kid again, even for a little while.

One year, I planned my own birthday party as though I were doing it for someone else.  I made all the arrangements, and got the fun of picking exactly what I wanted to have for the party and how I wanted it to look.  I even mailed out invitations and followed them up with a reminder phone call so I would have a head-count for the barbecue, ice cream, and cake.  We all had a blast laughing about that one -- the party I threw myself!

You get the idea for the events of your birthday week, by now.  So let me tell you what I do on my actual birthday each year. 

I start by getting a good night's sleep the night before.  Trust me, it is hard to enjoy your day if you are tired all the way through it.  I always want to get a good start on the day, to make it last as long as possible. 

I take the day off from work, if I can arrange it.  I also make whatever arrangements are necessary in advance to be certain I will be free from any other responsibilities or distractions that day.  (This part can take a little time, so don't wait until the last minute to begin asking for help.)  Your only responsibility on your birthday should be making the most of every minute of that day.  Giving yourself that time can be the greatest gift of all. 

Next, I spend the day going where I want to go and doing whatever strikes my fancy.  Some years, I have spent the entire day walking through a park or zoo.  Some years, I have driven from place to place, stopping anywhere I felt the notion to explore.

And while I'm at it, no matter what I may be doing that day, I am thinking about the person I am and the person I want to become.  I think about choosing, each moment of every day, to be the best person I can be.  I know I am human, and there will be times when I may fall short of my ideal self, as we all do.  It helps me stay on track, however, to have that ideal firmly in mind as I move forward in life. 

Taking the time to reflect on this, one day out of each year, is sort of like setting your watch to Greenwich Mean Time to be certain of its accuracy.  Or visualizing your arrow hitting the bull's eye of the target before releasing it.  If you want to hit what you're aiming for, it is best to see what you're aiming at.  (Rhythm trumps grammar, in this case.) 

No matter how I have chosen to spend my birthdays over the years, those days have always turned out to be some of the wisest and best uses I have made of any of my days in any given year.  The time has never been wasted.  I have appreciated each day fully, and celebrated its coming and its going.  And when I put my head on my pillow that night, I have always counted the day well spent. 

You get the idea.  Whenever your birthday might be during the course of this next eleven months, give some forethought to how you want to spend that day of your life.  Give yourself the gift of one full day, and live it as fully as you can for the enjoyment you will experience in being fully aware and alive on your day. 

The challenge, of course, is to live every day of your life as fully as you do once a year.  Think what a celebration that would be.  But for now, living as much of your time as you do by working for and taking care of others, start by granting yourself the freedom of just one day -- and make it truly yours.