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Business Humor: because we all need a break from the serious business of running companies well.You know you’re in trouble when: Your company does something really big and the only news show that’ll cover it is 60-Minutes. Your corporate attorney calls his before he gives you advice. Your new president was a real hot shot at Enron. You find out that your company accountant moonlights as a chef. You just spent a fortune on new computers and software to last the next decade and Vista is launched the next day. Your IT guy goes to the competition on February 1, 2007. Your new computers crash and instead of an error message you get a full screen image of Bill Gates smiling. After a very long search, you finally are able to hire a new IT guy but he dresses very well and is over 30. You’re invited to speak on a panel with other very, very highly paid CEO’s. You’re the only mid-level manager not invited to participate on a headcount cost reduction committee. The CEO panel is giving congressional testimony. You walk into a surprise going-away party at work. The company HR Director invites you to lunch. You didn’t know you were “going away.” The HR department announces that they are going to improve the retirement and benefits package. You are beginning to really understand Dilbert. You get back from lunch and your cubical is gone. Your new company car is a Yugo. You remember the Yugo. Your company posts record sales on February 31st. Your best friends are other (lawyers, accountants, engineers, managers, assistants, etc.) Your only friends are other (lawyers, accountants, engineers, managers, assistants, etc.) Your entire cost reduction program consists of a suggestion box. Your wife complains that you are traveling on business too much. Your wife complains that you aren’t traveling on business enough. Your wife calls saying she wants to talk. Your new boss says Al Dunlop is his role model. Your secretary gives you a message: "Dr. Phil called." Your business credit card statement includes strange charges from Tina's Tattoo Parlor and Sally's Swinging Sexbar. You get home from an important sales meeting and can't remember where you parked your car. You can't find your underwear. You can't remember if you wore any. You suddenly remember......it's outside Tina's. Sally gave you a ride. Your inventory turns are measured in decimal fractions. You're surprised by a wake-up call.....you're at work.
You start a profit improvement program and you don’t hire Business Solutions. Okay, so the last one isn't funny.
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Cost Reduction & Profit Improvement
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