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The divorce rate is over 50% today. The woman pursues the majority of those divorces.
Woman will take so much and then what seems to be a sudden decision as far as the husband
is concerned, the wife decides she wants a divorce. She just can't take anymore.
After many years of researching happily married couples the researchers found two
common elements in all of the happily married couples. The first is that the men
in the happy marriages accept influence from their wife.
The second element is that the woman softens her approach to bring up
relationship issues to her husband. She uses a softer non-threatening tone and
voice. She begins with I statements and refers to her feelings. She also will use humor to
soften the approach. The wife broaches 97% of relationship issues. Women are the
caretakers of the marital relationship. That's just the way it is. How she starts the
conversation will determine how the conversation will end. If she starts softly and more
positively the talk will end on a more positive note. If she starts negatively by blaming
and pointing the finger at her mate the conversation will not progress or have a positive
productive outcome. Couching her remarks and concerns makes it more tolerable for the man
to hear what she has to say.
Be clear and precise in what you want from your mate. Don't get into mind reading.
Someone will lose if you play mind reading games. Don't assume your mate should know how
your are thinking or feeling. Don’t assume your mate will know what to do to help
heal the wounds you might have. You must tell them what you want and need. Be specific.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Recommended reading:
"Why Marriages Succeed or Fail" by John Gottman
"A
Couple's Guide to Communication"
by John Gottman, Cliff Notarius, Jonni Gonso, Howard
Markman.
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work"
by John Gottman & Nan Silver
See Relationship Information for Couples.
You can purchase our book Talk to Me right now and start learning how to
improve your relationship one word at a time. We now offer it as an
E-Book! Get it today!
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