I don't feel good about these mistakes.

Dear Positive Way, I would like to create a new beginning and try and forget the
past mistakes.  I am trying to make goals, however it is very hard as I don't feel
good about these mistakes.  Also, I feel that these mistakes didn't make me look
very good in my communication style. I want to move forward, however I can't seem
to get past this. I would love some advice please? signed, moving forward, age 40

Dear Moving Forward, we have all made similar mistakes and beat ourselves up
for such mistakes.  We seem to be able to forgive others for their mistakes but have
a hard time forgiving ourselves.  Here are some suggestions for you to consider to
help you move forward:

1.  Write down all of the mistakes and wrong that you feel you have done.  Write
as much detail as you can and be totally honest with yourself.  Write these
mistakes with pen or pencil and write them on paper that you can destroy. 
It is important that you write not type the list of wrong doings.

2.  Read the list out loud to yourself - this is only for your ears and no one else's. 
Then read the list silently.  Once the list is read twice - once out loud and once
silently then formally destroy the list - Burning the list is the best way to destroy it
but if that is not convenient then shred the list in such a way that it could never
 be reassembled.  As you destroy the list say these words "I forgive myself and now
go free".  Repeat those words until the list is destroyed.

3.  If there are amends that you feel you have to make to someone then do the
least interruptive thing you can do to make amends.  For example: send a card with a note of apology or call the person and say you are sorry.  Make no excuses for what
was done - just apologize.

4. Now it is time to move forward.  Now, the present, is all that matters.  You
cannot change the past, you can only learn from it. Consider all that has happened
as life lessons not mistakes.  Life is all about living and lessons.  Once the lessons
are learned you can move forward in a positive way.

Please take some time and read the following articles on our website. 
Forgive and Go Free, Change and Grow, Create a New Beginning and Words
do Count.  Also practice some of the tools to develop your self-esteem.  All of these articles have tips and advice that I feel you will find helpful.  Take one step at a time.  Be compassionate with yourself just as you would a dear and loving friend. 
You can do this!

Please understand you have free will.  This advice is given only in the realm
of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute
for therapy or professional counseling.  We wish you well.